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Cant Even First World Problems

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#32481 that_black_guy

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Posted 11 January 2018 - 08:00 AM

I cant imagine what you're going through man. As a parent myself, the thought of not seeing the kids every day scares the sh1t outta me.

I guess just keep your head up and dont be afraid to talk to ppl about it. Time heals all wounds and hopefully things will start working out in the end... I'm pretty sure we can all agree your due for a bit of luck soon
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#32482 sassydot

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Posted 11 January 2018 - 11:18 AM

How do you deal with a divorce/split when there is kids involved

 

Don't get lawyers involved.  We were fortunately able to do it all in the end without lawyering up, apart from the obvious needs of house sale.  It saved a lot of money and hassle.

 

If she goes on a benefit and has the kids, you automatically have to pay child support, but she won't see a cent of it.  It's in the kids' best interests then if you can work things like day-to-day care, so that she can keep working and then at least any child support you arrange privately she and the kids will receive.  You don't have to go through IRD, you can make a private arrangement, and it can be $0 if you both decide it is best (although you can use their calculators to get a rough guide if you want). Vice versa - if you need to take up a sickness benefit, it's probably in everyone's best interests if you don't have full custody or she'll have to be paying child support you won't ever see.  Instead consider arrangements where you provide the 'daycare' and after school.  You'll get plenty of time with them, it'll save daycare fees, and you can hopefully work out a fair child support split taking that into account.

 

Don't yell.  What's done is done and getting yelly at each other isn't going to achieve anything other than hurting those kids. Even if you think they're asleep.

 

I think it goes without saying, don't use them as a bargaining tool. And don't bad-mouth each other to them.

 

My assumption is that there is someone else involved?  If not, then there likely will be in the future.  Suck it up and get along. Same goes for anyone else in your life, they need to get along with her.  It's pretty simple - as far as the kids are concerned you two still need to be a team, and anyone else coming in joins that team, rather than splitting it up into two competing teams.

 

If at all possible, move as close as you can so they can see you easily.  It'll make all the difference.


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#32483 ZombieRawkMachine

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Posted 11 January 2018 - 06:55 PM

When my parents split my Dad didn't give a sh*t and lied and had everyone lie for him so he didn't have to pay child support or anything. So my Mum took two jobs did everything she could to raise me proper etc. She just did her best and that is all one can do.


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#32484 Dodgykiwi

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Posted 12 January 2018 - 02:02 PM

Cabbages that can't drive in wet weather.  Already seen one picture on Facebook of a car flipped upside down & just passed an accident where a car had gone into a lamppost on the other side of the road in an area just before a Stop sign.


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#32485 emetic

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Posted 13 January 2018 - 09:47 AM

Went to get a replacement air filter for my car from Supercheap Auto... the woman looked up my rego plate on the computer and assured me it was the right one. Turns out it's slightly smaller than the original. Can't be bothered going back... just cut a strip of foam to sit along the edge to stop it from moving around. Filter only cost $20... better deal than others there that were $80.

I know that if you look up the rego it will also give you the incorrect tyre size.

Yeah I've been caught by that before. My car's airbox is not the same as it should be for the model, it's from a similar overseas trim model. I have no idea if it had been replaced before I owned the car or if the factory didn't standardise it exactly for the whole time of production.
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#32486 iludez

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 06:15 PM

I cant imagine what you're going through man. As a parent myself, the thought of not seeing the kids every day scares the sh1t outta me.

I guess just keep your head up and dont be afraid to talk to ppl about it. Time heals all wounds and hopefully things will start working out in the end... I'm pretty sure we can all agree your due for a bit of luck soon

Well looks like luck just isn't coming for me. I'm back in hospital, this time in isolation. Looks serious this time.
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#32487 drunk_monk

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 06:16 PM

Damn real sorry to read Ludez
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#32488 sassydot

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 06:41 PM

Went to get a replacement air filter for my car from Supercheap Auto... the woman looked up my rego plate on the computer and assured me it was the right one. Turns out it's slightly smaller than the original. Can't be bothered going back... just cut a strip of foam to sit along the edge to stop it from moving around. Filter only cost $20... better deal than others there that were $80.

I know that if you look up the rego it will also give you the incorrect tyre size.

Yeah I've been caught by that before. My car's airbox is not the same as it should be for the model, it's from a similar overseas trim model. I have no idea if it had been replaced before I owned the car or if the factory didn't standardise it exactly for the whole time of production.

My old Honda was also the same. There was something that wasn't the standard for its model, but I can't remember what now. I think it's because sometimes the new purchasers in Japan get certain things customised when they buy.
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